In a Divorce With a Narcissist? A Guide To Dealing With a Narcissist Spouse

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Dealing with divorce is never easy, and one needs much patience and effort to sort things out successfully. But if you have to cope with a narcissist and divorce, you need to get ready for a big explosion. 

Still, it doesn’t mean you have to suffer in an unhappy marriage with your narcissistic spouse. Learn more about the issue instead, and use the following tips to help you out. 

Who Is a Narcissist?

You cannot call your partner a narcissist without serious grounds. Many people may have narcissistic tendencies, be egoistic, and lack empathy. But a narcissistic personality disorder is a pathology and serious diagnosis. So, if your partner has at least five of the following features, you can assume they have an NPD but not state so without professional consulting:

  • increased sense of being important, extra talented, and successful;
  • being overwhelmed with fantasies about personal success, fame, authority, beauty, intelligence, etc.;
  • believing in personal uniqueness so that only other unique people can understand them;
  • needing extra attention and admiration from the surroundings permanently;
  • having expectations for special treatment;
  • manipulating other people and their feelings;
  • lacking empathy;
  • feeling envious or suspecting other people envying them;
  • behaving arrogantly.

Any of us may have some of the listed features, but if your former beloved has a bundle of them, get ready to give up on uncontested divorce online idea. Your parting is likely to be difficult and painful. But you have to gather patience and create your own strategy to change your life for the better.

How to Divorce a Narcissist? 

The main point in divorcing the narcissist is to control the situation but never let them know about this. In addition, you should adjust your behavior and actions to quit your marriage with minimum suffering. Here are the ideas of what you should expect and apply to your narcissistic partner when aiming at divorce

They Will Play a Victim

The narcissist will always look like a victim. They will play their game so that other people think that you are the villain in your relationships and your partner suffers most. Do everything not to play your designated role. But be patient and wait for the truth to be revealed eventually.

You Will Suffer

It may happen that not only your surrounding will see the matters the narcissistic spouse wishes, but you will be made to think that you are the bad one in your relationship. They will make you believe that you are irrational, broken, and ruining your family by not following their plans. Don’t let yourself lose the trust and the common sense in their games.

Act Indifferently

If you wonder how to get a narcissist to divorce you, you simply need to act indifferently. They want to see you suffering, getting out of control, losing trust, playing their game, and reacting to their actions either positively or negatively.  But if you do nothing in response, your narcissist partner will get bored and let you go eventually. 

Grow Boundaries

A narcissist will try to get you hurt, use your weaknesses against you, play with your touchy topics. Your task is to grow healthy boundaries and try not to let your partner cross them, and stick to your own rules as well. But never tell them about your boundaries; otherwise, your spouse will use them against you.

Protect Your Cellphone

A narcissist knows that your cellphone is a perfect tool to get to you when you are apart. They will torment you with a string of calls, long and persistent messages, ambiguous voicemails, and more. Remember that these are all cheap tricks, and don’t buy them. Remain calm and provide short, confident answers, giving no reasons for further discussions. If you feel you cannot bear it anymore, just turn off your phone.

Be Ready for Surprises

Be ready that your narcissistic partner will be seeking accidental meetings to spoil your vacation and mess up your day. The worst thing you can do to a narcissist is not to participate in their drama, which will be the best thing for you in the outcomes. This will give no chances to your spouse to sabotage you in public, play their victim role, and spoil your being in general. 

Learn about Relationships

While being in a marriage with a narcissist, they make you believe that your relationships are normal, they treat you well, and you are more than a happy couple. But your main task is to break that illusion and realize the reality. You have to acknowledge the unhealthiness of your relationships and understand how to be in an ordinary partnership. It will help you to reassess your life and build up a better union next time. 

Don’t Hurry to Date

Once you realize that you were blinded by your narcissist spouse, don’t hurry to meet a better match. Dating during a divorce with a narcissist is a bad idea. Your soon-to-be-ex will use the fact in their vicious schemes to bring you down again and again. So, staying single during and some time after the divorce will be a reasonable choice. 

Opt for Peaceful Resolution

Although many people are sure it is impossible to solve a narcissist and divorce issue without extra hassle, you should opt for a peaceful resolution. A confident and calm attorney will be your perfect weapon during mediation or collaborative divorce. Beginning a divorce war with a narcissist guarantees a painful and hardly beneficial process for both of you. So, choose the opposite and reach your happiness in the end.